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Treasures of Queer Salem
Join your hosts, Tallow and Nix as we interview members of the Queer community in the Salam/Keizer area to unearth uplifting stories and highlight community resources.
Treasures of Queer Salem
S1E15: Georgia, Queer Instigator and Advocate
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Today we're chatting with Georgia (She/they/Georgia) a trans Advocate. They tell us about their journey from a victim of trafficking to provider and administrator of programs for LGBTQ+ youth, adults and women.
Ahoy, gems and jewels. And non-binary goals. I'm Talo. I'm Nyx. And you're listening to The Treasures of Queer Salem. Where two of your favorite troublemaking pirates discover the riches of the queer sea while aboard the Salamander.
SPEAKER_04Today we're talking to Georgia. She The Georgia. Georgia is a trans-identifying professional, instigator, and survivor. She recently relocated to Salem from the coast for a job helping families and community communicate and be kinder to one another.
SPEAKER_01Hi. Um I am in here for being an instigator, bugging people. Nice.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I I think a lot of us in the community kind of are, but yes. Definitely can relate. So I have to ask you the first question that we normally start with is uh what is your identity or how do you identify it as? And how did you get to the identity that you currently identify as?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, thank you. So as you heard, it's like Georgia, Georgia, Georgia. Um, and that's really kind of my identity. I'm just Georgia. And so I when people ask me pronouns or when I'm at work and it's like, you know, say your pronouns, um, I'll say it's she, they, um, but just feel free to call me Georgia. Um, so she is for social, they is for my queer family, and the realness of me is that I'm just good old Georgia. Um, I consider myself self-diagnosed as intersex. Um at the time of transitioning or growing up in the 90s, I think there was this idea of such a strong binary, and so I didn't know about non-binary, I didn't know about options. Um, it was like you were either gay, and if you weren't gay, then you were transgender. And so that instigated my transition. Um, so I came out as a trans woman and um I like it, it fits, but I still I think in my own identity, I don't always fit into that binary system anymore. Um and so that explains my pronouns. It's a little mix of everything. Cool. Cool.
SPEAKER_02You you mentioned self-diagnosed intersex. I'm I'm can would you mind chatting about that?
SPEAKER_01Totally. So um gosh, I think that there's so much that we don't know and don't tap into and study as a society and just as a system. And so with me growing up, it's like, well, why did I start getting boobs at 13? Right? Yeah. Like um, even though I was said to be male or a boy and did boy things, um, my body would sometimes argue with me. Uh you know, my hormones argued with me. Even transitioning, it's like I go and I get my hormones checked, and it's like, well, we're just gonna give you more estrogen. Um, but then we check the testosterone, it's just off the hook, right? And so um trying to find that balance, I realized I'm not even the same. I don't think any of us are the same in our trans journey, but I was like, there's some more stuff going on here.
SPEAKER_04Um your base level was a little complex. You're jumping out from a different piece.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and so it's like, you know, based on the knowledge that we knew, I grew up in Boise, Idaho, right? So um not the most progressive. And yes, and like a religious family, lots of love, but um a little a little out there. So there was there was no resource around to figure that out. Um, I think I'm the first one in my family to kind of pop that bubble and be like, huh, we can be different. So yeah, that's the self-diagnosis. I mean, would I go to the doctor and you know, see about my chromosomes? Maybe. Um, I just know that it's different. Like I don't have um gender dysphoria as much.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I think like, you know, in in this society that we have, sometimes like, you know, we always well, some of us will recommend like don't go if you feel like you're autistic, don't go diagnose yourself unless you have a reason for it, right? Yeah. Because there's a lot of limitations that kind of come up with that. And I think maybe getting that chromosome or karyotype test, whether or not it'll give you what you need, the question is whether or not the medical system would get would like change their perspective of you based on that information, right?
SPEAKER_01And I think that's a big part of it. Like, no matter what the outcome is, um, I have to fulfill my journey, I have to label myself in that journey, introduce myself, do things. Um, but I don't think I'm the only one out there that feels that way too, especially as a trans person. And sometimes navigating those doctors is difficult. But I agree with you a hundred percent about the self-diagnosis, and that's why I wanted to say, like, um, when I introduce, I'm like, I'm self-diagnosed, like I'm letting you guys know that I'm a little out there too, right? Like none of this is proven. This is all this is just George's word.
SPEAKER_00I like the other girls. Right? Exactly.
SPEAKER_04I mean it it really sounds like you're you're intersect sex. I don't think you have to prove that medically, right?
SPEAKER_02You can you just are what you are, right? You say what you are. Exactly. Nobody's gonna nobody should challenge that.
SPEAKER_01I agree.
SPEAKER_02Um, you mentioned Boise, so I'm curious. Yes. Like I've been to Boise and it's it's changed, I think.
SPEAKER_01It's changed a lot, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Okay, give us a little bit of a scoop there.
SPEAKER_01There was an innocence to it. Like I said, like I'm older, so I'm 47. Sorry, kids. Like it's um, but I think there's a lot to that, right?
SPEAKER_02Like, would never clock you for 47.
SPEAKER_04Would never clock you.
SPEAKER_01Awesome, awesome, awesome.
SPEAKER_04Finally, on someone on this podcast who's older than me.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yay, congratulations. I will take it. That is a win. Um, but yeah, I Boise was so innocent back in the day. So we're thinking like the 80s, the 90s, um, bunch of farmland. So you had like your downtown area. I went to Boise High School, which is the big like downtown high school, all the cool kids, right? Um it was a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_04What what are Boise uh cool kids?
SPEAKER_01It was like do you want to know the mascot? Is that what you mean?
SPEAKER_04No, I mean, what does it look like to be a cool kid in Boise?
SPEAKER_01Oh, we would ditch school to like 10th grade, my friend Siobhan, and I'm totally gonna make her listen to this now because we're still friends to this day. But like we would ditch school and go get bagels, like a 10-minute break, um, because it's downtown. So you would just like walk out of campus and go wherever you wanted. We used to go to TNA Cafe and get like coffee. They'd want to kick us out because we would just sit there and drink all the coffee. Somebody would get like um biscuits and gravy. Nice, but there would be like five of us at the table, you know what I mean? And um, we took the bus, like through, you know, we walked everywhere. Sometimes it was like you stay after and do art stuff after school, and then meet our parents to like um alive after five or like the Thursday, you know what I mean? Like this this art in the park kind of thing with all the bands. Um, parents would just be throwing back the beers, we'd all just be hanging out, buying stuff at the little craft stations and things. There was just so much freedom. Um, it was wonderful. And all our group is still we're still friends today. There's a closeness there. Cool. Um, yes, I love that part about it. But Boise did get mean. It started to get really mean. And I think there was always the the seed that had been planted. Like high school didn't mean that um just because we had friends that everything was great. I didn't come out. I was, you know, raised Mormon on one side of my family. My parents have always been divorced. So it's single, you know, single mom, some dad influence. So it's like on my dad's side, we'd go to church and be Mormon, went to seminary, like if there's anybody else that knows what that is here, where you go to school, you go to church in the morning, um, and stuff like that. So, but we we stuck together. Like, if one was gonna get caught with cigarettes, we all got caught with cigarettes, right? Like, we didn't hide from each other or blame each other, but then there was the other group of kids that did judge us, like definitely misfits, but misfits were cool, you know what I mean? Like, we had a girl, Tink Girl was really popular, um swing kids was kind of cool then. It was a very grunge era. Um, yeah, we just it was like hipster before hipster was there. Um, and so it was a lot of fun. But there were kids that definitely got teased in junior high. There was some teasing for me. Um, kind of nipped it in the butt. I lucked out, you know, kind of avoided my way around it and found my friend circle. Um, but even to this day, like we talk about it and I find out that some of my friends, um, especially the gay guys, um, really went through it. Yeah, really went through it through high school and stuff like that. And they stayed. I left. Um now my mom worries when I come back. She's like, I don't know, I'll come visit you. I don't know if I want you to come back and spend some time here just because it's gotten so hateful towards trans people, and I think that really scares her.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Plus the culture, there's not a lot of stuff there, and so what she sees is loud or me. Yeah. She either hears the really big stuff in the media or it's just me. Right. Um, and it's hard for her to put those two together, like the softness of her daughter, but then like this really mean aggression towards trans people. Um, so it's like, oh, that doesn't really mix.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, and I I know that you know, just like within Salem and Boise, there are like pockets where you can be safe. I I I've enjoyed going to Boise. They have some really great vegan food, which also tends to be where the queer people are. Always but I love like the history that you can hear, the the the prison that's there is also very interesting. Yeah, the penitentiary.
SPEAKER_00I know, and now it's like they do Shakespeare out there, the rose gardens. It's like, ah, people were hung here.
SPEAKER_04People are willingly going into prison. Yes, yes, we're trying to change the vibes of the curse spirits, yeah, so they don't haunt us anymore.
SPEAKER_01If we do enough happy stuff here, absolutely no, and if Siobhan is listening, if I did something to her, um she would be laughing because um I did get in trouble as a kid, like often. Um, nothing major, but I did have to do community service, and so one of them was to go like help in the flower garden at the penitentiary. Yeah, yeah, and so but I was like, this just isn't my thing. So I would have my mom drop me off, and then like 10 minutes later, Siobhan would come pick me up and we would just sign my form. That's the 90s kids, too. There was no digital, so it's like if you needed something done, you're like, I just have to have a signature, that's so easy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, it's the honor code, I guess.
SPEAKER_01Exactly.
SPEAKER_02Oh, you weren't supervised to do it.
SPEAKER_01Oh, no, no, you were. I just wouldn't check in. Right. I would just like hang out and then whoop, there came my ride, and then we would just leave and I would just forge the document. Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02Not not to like riff on any like teenager. If you have an honor code, please continue to have it. Continue to have it. I would not hold an honor code against a teenager.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_02Especially when we're like just kind of trying to figure things out. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. So you mentioned you you left Boise.
SPEAKER_01I did.
SPEAKER_02Uh where'd you end up going?
SPEAKER_01So I left and went to I my because my parents were divorced and um like forever separated, I got to travel a bit with my dad. He moved a lot, and so I actually graduated high school in Chico, California. Um, and then um would go back and forth. Chico's northern. It's by Sacramento, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Even above that, like it's um it's pretty cool.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Is it close to Davis? Yes, Chico. Well, kind of it's like Chico and then Davis, and then you have Sacramento, like that hooking area farmland and stuff. But there's a university, Chico State. It's just a small, cool little town. Um, it was an interesting experience, yeah. Um, definitely not as queer as like my friends and like growing up in that circle in Boise. Um, so that was a big part of my life too, going back and forth, California. But I think the first time that I left, left. Um there was like I I I randomly I wanted to go to Santa Cruz. Who knows? Like, I was just like, I'm going to Santa Cruz. And so I packed in my car and left, but my car broke down in Reno. And so I was like, which parent am I gonna call, right? Um, called my dad. And so um ended back up in Chico in that I did serve like a Mormon mission. Oh um, I know, and so I served in Seattle, Washington.
SPEAKER_04Is this before or after you were you knew you were queer?
SPEAKER_01Oh, I knew I was queer from the time I was like tiny, tiny. It's um that masking, right? Like the survival mode. So it's like, oh, if I if this is where I'm gonna be, I'm gonna play that part and survive and blend and do that type of thing. And so that's just one of the rules. If I was gonna live in my dad's house and stuff, you had to participate. Um, and I got sucked into that world. And I've always told myself, like, nothing bad can come of like being of good service to people, but as an adult now, and especially like as a strong queer adult, I'm like, yeah, I can. Yeah, yeah. Um, and so there is like that guilt of like, oh my gosh, I hope I didn't like put a bunch of kids in jeopardy by their parents becoming Mormon and stuff like that. There's been a lot of healing that I have to do around that, but um it was an experience. So that was Seattle, and then after that, I went to Colorado, so I spent some time in Denver. Um one of my favorites, Monterey, California. But back to Boise again for quite some time. Um, Monterey, San Francisco was probably my favorite for a long time, and then that took me to Sacramento, California.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then Oregon. I know.
SPEAKER_04Well, and you were you were on the coast here.
SPEAKER_01Oh yes, yes. So I um I said survivor, so a big part of my story too is that I'm a survivor of trafficking. Um, so I think a lot of those things like the bad behaviors of um ditching and learning how to lie and doing stuff and avoiding and masking um the things that I teach parents not to do with my job now, right? Like um to have that communication, to love your kids, to love community, to give safe spaces where people can be themselves. Um, because I didn't have that. Mine was completely opposite. There was a lot of abuse, there was a lot of arguing, um, there was a lot of escaping. So that's we would ditch, we would go hang out with friends, we became our own little family, um, but didn't make the best decisions. And without that structure, um, as I got into my adult life, I I I lacked those skills, a lot of it, right? So when I was transitioning and kind of getting deep into my queerness, um, I became very vulnerable and would mask for other people or would want to make sure everybody got along. Um definitely was not the instigator at that time. Yeah. So more of the pleaser and doing those things. And um housing was difficult. I didn't have family to fall back on. Um, had lost I'm I'm close with my mom now, but at the time it's like everybody cut me off. It was, you know, if you're doing this, if you're trans, that's just so weird to us. Um, we don't want the drama. Like you need to figure your life out. You're an adult now. Um, don't call us. And so I was like, oh gosh, I just lost my whole family. Yeah. Um and then you lose housing, right? And so um a bad relationship, yeah. I had to follow that guy because I thought he was cute, um, gave me attention. And so that just led down a very intense, dark path. Um, maybe another conversation, or if anybody wants to hit me up privately and talk about that, I'm so happy to talk about it one-on-one. Definitely I will always be a resource for anybody that's that's um, you know, going through that or feeling that they have to provide something, just even have a place to sleep or to have some type of care in their world. Um, but that's kind of where it got to. And um, at one point it was like enough is enough. And so I said, I'm out of here. Um, had nothing. I just packed up this dirty old, yeah, Ford Explorer and said, I'm going. And I wanted, I remembered, you know, I really loved Boise, I really loved Monterey, and I wanted something that was kind of a vibe of both. Oh, yeah. And I'd never done the Oregon Coast, and so I was like, I bet it is. Like with the way people talk about it, I bet it's pretty cool. Um, and so I did. I started my journey, and my car broke down in Lincoln City. Yeah. That is honestly how I got to the coast.
SPEAKER_02We know Lincoln City. I'm kind of noticing the pattern here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Car broke down in Lincoln City, and I was like, That's a great way to stop. That's a that's a nice spot. Yeah, yeah, it just made me stop in my tracks.
SPEAKER_04I'm sure it's was very scary at the time.
SPEAKER_01It was, yeah, yeah. I think going from being homeless and like, you know, living a street life in Sacramento, um, that was scary at one time too, right? And so that's what made me stop. Is there's this part where I became immune to the fear. I could walk out in the middle of night, you know, leave somebody's house and like have nowhere to go, or you know, ride the blue train to somewhere else and just be it's like I'll figure it out. Um, you learn these survivors survival skills. Um, but then I got comfortable again. My road trip made me a little comfortable, right? Like I had my car, um, I had safety, I was independent, I didn't have to talk to anybody if I didn't want to. And then when that got taken away, here I was like in a city. I had, you know, this little town, and I'm like, I don't know anybody. I don't know where to go. I don't know where to sleep, I don't know where to camp, I don't know who to ask for help. And it brought back those memories of that first time of being like, Am I really sleeping on pavement tonight? Right. And so I was like, Yeah, I'm not doing this and reached out for help. You know. Yeah. Um in my journey, like through coming into Oregon, some not so fun stuff happened with me and my body and just different things I need to go to the hospital. Um, horrible experience. Um, it's funny because later in life I worked for the hospital that was actually super transphobic with me. Um big yeah, which was a big part of my story of like Oregon and um like that being that instigator, right? And the professional and um finding joy in that. But at the time, like it was not there. It was COVID and um it was a bad experience. But they they were like, you know, you do need some help, da-da-da-da. And handed me like a couple of of packets. Um, I knew I was gonna be in town for a while. I wanted housing, I knew that there was probably gonna be a hotel voucher or something, and so I was just trying to find that. And somebody brought up my sister's place, which was about domestic violence. And so I had jotted down their information on the back of like one of the pamphlets, put it in my pocket, left on my journey, um, made it up past Tillamuk, like, you know, almost to seaside, I think, if you know the Oregon Coast. And then I turned around. It was like late, and I was like, no, I want to go back, I'm gonna go to Yahoot's. I loved Yahawts. And so I was on my way back, and that's when my car broke. Like literally in the middle of the night at um like a little gas station. Right after I put money in it too. I was like, I just filled up my gas. I was so mad. Um, and it wouldn't start. And I was like, Are you kidding me? Um, so I was just like walking around in the morning, like trying to figure it out. Um, and this kid like asked if he could use my lighter and took it. Yeah, I was I was smoking at the time. Um I don't smoke anymore. And so I was reaching my pockets trying to find another lighter, and boom, there's there's this piece of paper that had like these phone numbers and stuff on it. And so, yeah. And then later that day I was like, Yeah, I'm not doing this. It's a bad day. I just want a good shower. And so I just I called.
SPEAKER_02There are a couple things that I want to like unpack on that one. I'm not I'm not gonna push on the the No, we can push. Um, but I I would like to hear um, you know, we we often don't talk about trafficking. It's it's definitely a a subject that in our in our community is uh is like the boogeyman. We don't talk about it, we like we we try to ignore it, but it exists. It except unlike the boogeyman, it exists. Um and I think like my question would be, you know, I don't know who's listening to this podcast, and I don't know what kind of what situation they're in, and I would love to hear from you um, you know, whatever you would like to share, but I'm saying I would like to specifically ask you what would you have told yourself to help yourself out? Or what what would you have done? Oh my gosh. I know there's a lot, it's a lot.
SPEAKER_01No, it's such a beautiful question. Um, so if I can say that now like to myself, um don't listen to him. That's it. It's gonna be weird, it's gonna be obnoxious, it's gonna be sad, um, it can even get loud. Don't listen to him. Don't just do your thing. Even if even if I would have like fallen and failed at something, it would have been better than what I was doing. And everything stems from this like negative communication and um force control from society and from family. Yeah. Like you can be respectful and be defiant. Yeah, absolutely. And so that's the number one thing is like be defiant. Say no. Nah, I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Nope. Thanks though. Yeah. And it's gonna make it hard. I probably could have, you know. Like, does that mean that I would have slept on the street sooner? Maybe. I was older, I was in my 30s, right? So it's like either way, if that's what's gonna happen, I'd rather be on my own terms.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You're starting uh hearing your story is creating this theme, this narrative for me that not only of car breaking down, but also this this narrative of like not being able to come out because it wasn't safe, it wasn't the time. And I know as a community we we love this idea of a coming out story, but sometimes we just can't afford it. Like financially or socially, we cannot afford to come out. And so sometimes that means you continue staying in the closet until you can finally afford to do so. And you know, that's kind of how it is. But I'm also noticing you mentioned in the introduction in your introduction, instigator. I'm noticing that pattern. And I'm gonna ask you more about that, but I let's let's go back to like UK, you you went to Oregon Coast, Lincoln City, yeah, get the paper, start to like write your life, what happens after.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so I knew I had to heal a lot, right? Like, um the funny part is like I was in school in Sacramento for human services. So it's like you teach people how to do this. Like this is your job, this is what your internship was, right? Like you know what you need to do for services, you know what needs to happen. And I'm also I started I I f I felt safe. Something about Lincoln City, I was like, okay, like I'm supposed to be here. This is super weird, but like the car broke down, somebody answered the phone, I even had the number in the first place. Um, everything was just like kind of popping into place, and I'm a big believer in that. Like um, I say, like, just lift your feet up and float. Just let the river take you where it needs to take you, enjoy it for a minute, you'll know when it slows down. Um, and so I was in that floating era, like this is just supposed to happen. Um and part of that is like leaning into community. So we had just had the Echo Mountain fire there, and there was an opportunity to like give service back. So people were putting me up in a hotel. Um, you know, I was getting clothes, I was getting taken care of, and it's like I need to give back. And so met another trans person and they were like, Do you want to come help me um just put bags together and stuff for the Echo Mountain F and I was like, Yeah, absolutely. So um that started introducing me to more community, and then we have like P Flag. So P Flag had a thing that was for everybody, um, where you could jump on Zoom like the Wednesday at seven o'clock and just hang out and talk. Um, there was also like a project Bravery, which was for youth, which I later worked with and for. Um, but I like went in to visit that for meeting another trans person. And so as I was getting into these um groups for my own benefit, right? Um, my story was something that the coast was not used to. And um, yeah, they started asking, like, do you want to do more? Can you do more? You know, like let's ooh, we have a new one, like let's see how much we can get her to work. Oh, yeah, this is awesome. And I was all for it. I was like, wait a sec. So um, yeah, I literally like staying in a hotel. I went and took my resume to some other hotels. Everyone was like, just get a job at a hotel, they're all hiring. It's Lincoln City, and I was like, okay. So went and got a job at a front desk at a hotel, and then was doing all of this like community service, community action stuff like online with other people. And so um had gotten an apartment, yeah. Just I think DHS paid the deposit, and so I was like, let's just do it. I totally have a job, I can handle this. I couldn't I didn't know if I could handle it or not. Like I was like, Oh, I might totally be burning my bridge, but we're gonna go for it. And so for two weeks I slept on the hardwood floor, no furniture, you know, just me figuring it out. Um, but slowly it's like I got a bed, I got a couch, I got a this. Um, and then I started getting into going back into like the jobs that I wanted to do, which was with human services. So the first one was with um the Project Bravery at the Olala Center. Maybe there's some people here that used to work with Project Bravery in that. So it's LGBT youth. Um, I want to say maybe similar to to Rainbow Youth. Um, but we just did programming and activities and stuff for Lincoln County for all the queer youth. Lots of fun. And so that introduced me even to more families and stuff. And then that's the job that I have now was because the person that was doing the grant, I do parenting education. So I deal with everybody's parents, right? Um, for the benefit of the youth and specifically the queer youth. And so somebody reached out and was like, Would you want to do parenting support as part of Project Bravery? And I'm like, No, we're not gonna mix. Um, kids need their own space. Um, but I was like, but I'm happy to do something on the side. And so they were like, Oh, would you be an educator? And I'm like, sure. You know, like totally the yes person going back to like that system of just like always having to please. And so I was like, Yeah, let's figure it out. Um, and then I started to do the trainings, and I was like, Oh, I can have such an impact here. Like, this gives me a chance to tell people, like, be nicer, like you're so mean to your kids, like, knock it off. Is it really worth it? Um, places to share my story, um, giving people an opportunity to see like a queer adult that was going through the biggest fear that every parent has, right? Like, oh my gosh, I don't want my kid to go through abuse or to be trafficked, or you know, I I want them to be happy and this. And it's like, okay, well, let me tell you what didn't work, right? So um there was just great success with it. And that took me to working at the hospital. So I did it with um health integration. So I worked at the hospital, same one that treated me like crap as a trans woman going in homeless. I know, and I was like, I was like, well, well, well. And I did, I went up to like we became good friends, but like even the CEO, like, I was so mean to them because I was like, no. Um, and at one time I was like co-chair for Newport Oregon Pride, and they were like, Oh, we're gonna do stuff with Samaritan Hospital, and I was like, No, we're not. Like, I'll put my foot down on that real quick. Um, and then later it's like I'm sitting at this lunch with me and a couple friends and the CEO of Samaritan, right? And we're just like, So what's up? Like, why is it like this? Why are you like this? How can you treat me like and I was like, Let's talk about me, let's talk about my experience. Like, I just want to hear. Um, and we started to heal. Yeah, they were like, You're right, we have some work to do, and I'm really sorry. And you know, there's this, and it's like, um we we really want to do better. We do. And I was like, okay, well, let's do this together.
SPEAKER_04Um, and I think through those relationships, it was a magical moment if it's real, right? Right, and if it's real, that's a magical moment.
SPEAKER_01And it did, it ended up being magical. Like I ended up working for Samaritan. Um, so I did the whole coast. I had Lincoln City Hospital and Newport Hospital, Pacific Communities Hospital, and got to do like I was in DEI leadership, um, doing like uh the activity stuff. So I was the fun one, right? And then it was like part of my job was to make sure parents had resources, including like employees. And so I was throwing like the Easter egg, huh? And we were doing like the pride celebration and give like I was having the foundation by the books, and we were giving them out to all the kids. And so there became this um this peaceful time where it's like we all became friends, and that's that kindness is where I was able to teach people like one, I'm not scary, no trans person is. Um, two, we need a lot of resources here. You guys are really dropping the ball, right? Um, but then I was also able to heal myself, you know, and and kind of learn that nobody before that time had ever apologized. My dad never apologized, my trafficker never apologized, my boyfriend never apologized, the mechanic that ripped me off, you know, never apologized, like all these things. But here's this system, this hospital system that apologized.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01And I was like without you having to sue them, exactly. Right, right. I know, and so I was like, oh my gosh, like um maybe there, maybe there is this possibility, yeah. And it became one of the most beautiful parts of my life. Um, something that I will always cherish and remember. Some of my best friends still to this day. Um, shout out to Dr. Ogden. I think she's one of the most amazing people, um, is who I had lunch with that was like, let's do this. Um and so many other people in there. But yeah, and then that's um I started working for the hospital and doing more hospitally stuff, and I missed my families. I miss making that impact of helping the youth in the next generation. And so some friends called and said, The position's open in Salem. And I was like, I'm on it, let's go. I guess we're moving to Salem. Yeah, okay. They're coming in hot. Yeah. I guess uh who do you work for in Salem? So now I work for the Early Learning Hub, so Marion and Polk Early Learning Hub, um, which is a nonprofit that normally like their the purpose of it is to help families and children prepare for kindergarten, early education, that type of stuff. But the grant that I have comes from Oregon State University, Go Beaves. So it's like I get to use their money to do all ages. So I again get to give family support, activities, education, workshops, coaching, um, togetherness, unity, examples, conversations, all that kind of stuff to Marion County. And so I focus mainly on parents that have littles, like young kids. Um, but I make sure that there's room to work with queer parents, um, work with parents of queer teens is a big one. Yeah. Good and bad.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I I I know we're kind of like in between questions right now, but I have to ask. Yeah. You are a person who is focusing on parenting, right? Parenting, working on with parents and and making sure that like, you know, like you said, I love how you said it. Like it just get along. Like be nice to your kids. Be nice, be nice, yeah. And yet the question comes up, right? How how's the relationship with your parents? Like you you you told us about the like what happened there. Yeah, I'm curious.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Um, I come from like the blended his, hers, ours, theirs family. I tell people I'm the youngest, the oldest, and the middle. So um on my mom's side, I have an older sister that's seven years older. We talk, uh, but I need to control that conversation. Like, she's not respectful. She thinks she is. She's like, I love you so much. Um, but there's just there's just some stuff that's pretty funky. And so um, there's some boundaries there. I keep my distance. Um, my mom and I are super close, have not always been that way. That took quite the journey. I think it was really scary for her to watch me go through so much pain and destruction and not understand that a lot of it was because of what she didn't do.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Not necessarily what she did, right? But it's what she didn't do. Right. And so we had to have those conversations, and that fuels a lot of the work that I do today, right? Of making sure parents know it's sometimes not about what you do, but sometimes what you didn't do.
SPEAKER_02Well, it's about the closing of the door, right?
SPEAKER_01100%, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Right. And it's all time that you never get back.
SPEAKER_01You don't, you don't, and so yeah, and I think that's part, I think if she heard that, she'd be like, yep. And so now there's this like this this need to make up for that time. And so she is involved in my life a lot. Like I get a text from her every day. Um, and there's also a lot of me trying, you know, like having to lower my expectation on her as a person, not as a parent. Um, but that's that's the healthiest and happiest relationship. Um I'll be sad. She's older, so I'll be really sad with that one. Um, my dad, I don't think I'll be sad. Um yeah, he came to and it's not an anger thing. I'm just kind of like, I'm ready for that to be done in real life. Right. Um, I'm ready for that bond to just be be done. And um that even came up, and like they my dad and my stepmom came to visit me on the coast, and I was like, this is so weird, like why are you here? Um, but in the conversation, you know, there was something about my dad's health and this, and I was just like, you know that I'm not gonna come to Texas for a funeral. Like I just need that to be out right now. Like we don't even talk very much, like no disrespect, but I am not gonna stop my life if something happens to come to anybody in the family's funeral. Um, and that shocked them. They were just shook, and I was like, I don't understand that. Like, um, it's so What did you think was gonna happen? Right? That's why I was like, Oh, you're right, let me, and so um I think having those hard conversations, but respectfully, they've gotten better. There's more push for my dad to want to be closer. Um, and sometimes I'll give, sometimes I'll be like, Yeah, what's up? How's your day? Um, but then it kind of stops there. Then I don't hear anything for a few more months unless it's instigated or a holiday comes up. And so, like at Christmas, um this one was just too much, right? With all the stuff with ice and different, I was just like, I I'm done. So um, and they're super, super Mormon. And so I just he texted and was like, Can we, you know, set up a time to call today? And I was like, no. I was like, I am so just I do not have the energy for the extreme Christians like Yannity, and um I know you're good, you need to know that I'm good, we can try it on a different day. And I haven't heard anything since, right? So we'll see when we'll see when I do kind of thing. Um, but I I do wish sometimes it's like why do I have to have this dead weight? Right. And it's like, oh um, and so I'm I'm in therapy talking about it of like, you know, what are my boundaries? How can I not have that and that stuff. And then I also have like a stepbrother and a stepsister. Um, I don't talk to the stepbrother, but nothing bad, no beef or anything. It's just um I was transitioning when they had little kids, and they made sure that it was like I I think they may have felt that it was unsafe at the time, or like their bias was like, I don't know how we feel safe about this. That made them the most unsafe people to me.
SPEAKER_03Wow.
SPEAKER_01The fact that I knew that you were questioning um whether or not your child was safe around me because of my identity, I was like, We're done. Yeah, yeah. And so um the kids are allowed to contact me when they're older or parents' permission or something if they ever wanted to. A couple of them have like hit me up on Instagram and stuff, but um, yeah, I'm not gonna walk into that. I'm not gonna walk into that mess. So we fade apart, and I think as they've grown as you know, adults, all the siblings, some of them have become more progressive or more accepting or however they want to label it. Um, but again, I haven't had that apology. So nobody's reached out and been like, let's let's sit down and talk about this. Like, I really want you in my life. Um, and then same for my stepsister. I know she has queer kids, and so I think that's the one that I'll send like memes or support to sometimes just because we'll always have that bond. I'm like, oh, but you you raised some queer kids, so I know you're cool. Um, and so it's like I'll send her stuff and she's supportive with them. Um, and then my little sister, half sister from my dad's side, that's like 11 years younger, um, love her to death, but she's just deep in the church. And so I can't. Yeah, like if you voted against me, I can't accept the love.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01Like that's just where my boundary is.
SPEAKER_04I can I can be respectful, but you love one hand, poison with the other.
SPEAKER_01That's what I said to my therapist today. Oh my gosh, I was like, Well, you're poisoning me. You're inviting me to dinner and you're poisoning me. Yeah, like that's exactly what it feels like. And so it's um, this is why I have my boundaries. And I think with my trauma of like people tricking me, right? Like trafficking and like these bad relationships. Um, luckily I've gotten out of it and I'm I'm quick on it. I'm like, nope, yeah, trickery rickery, not gonna happen twice. I've seen this before. Yep, exactly. Oh, you lie, I'm good.
SPEAKER_02So yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, uh unfortunate that that's kind of the case sometimes, but that's I think it's kind of a common narrative with a lot of queer people, is that sometimes we have to draw those boundaries. And the sad part is that it's like, you know, I see in front of me, like I I don't really know you as a person yet, Georgia. I really I love the idea of uh getting to know you a little bit more. Um, but I see based on your narrative somebody who's doing amazing work who's been through the ringer and has kind of made it through. And it's not it's not in the like you inspire me to vibe, but it's very much in the like pity towards your family. The ones who doesn't ex that don't accept you. If they could see what you're doing now, if they would if they could put away their ideals for a second and see how much good you're causing to this community. It's like damn girl. Yeah, yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_01I know it makes me sad too, because that's the part of like um especially around the holidays when they want to send out like the newsletter about the family, and like mine is so vague. It like, and sometimes I'm not even in it, right? And I'm just like, oh, you are missing out so much. Like, I have the coolest story, like I have the best paragraph out of all these kids. Um, so they are. I appreciate that. Thank you. And um that pity is like my that's what I'm here for, like with all families in that sense. Like for the kids, what am I doing in my job? Um, I'm instigating, I'm the pusher. So these people that go into these non-profit, like you know, you hear that it's about kids and family, you're gonna get a lot of that conservative, um, we're here to save the kids type of people. Here comes Trans Georgia, just like, what's up? I'm here to teach you how to do, you know, and it's like it throws them for a loop just coming in. Yes, the community members are like, wait a second.
SPEAKER_04Let's talk about pronoun. Exactly. Oh, exactly.
SPEAKER_01And so it's like, oh yeah, I'm on to you. Like, I know what you're doing to your kids at home. So it's um that's the part of I think me wanting to create this other path that's visible, um, and going into spaces where people say, You definitely shouldn't be here. Like, we it it's uncomfortable sometimes. Like what people are saying about trans people, and you know, like this this forced bias um about how we're unsafe and you know, and then all of a sudden I'm working for a hospital and now like the biggest nonprofit for for families and kids, like in Marion County as a trans person. Yeah, that's bold, right? Like, that's bold. That's like, oh, we're gonna stir the pie here. We're bringing in a trans woman to work with kids. Yeah, like and I'm here for it. I'm like, yes, let these families see that it's okay and it's safe. Um, and so I hope that that's getting to the kids. I hope that there's a kid out there where it's like the parents come home and it's like they're uncomfortable, right? Oh yeah, we met a trans adult. Yeah. Huh. You know? Like, so if you hear my name out there, kid, yeah, like you cheer for me with those parents. I'm gonna whoop them into shape. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Awesome. I just oh there's there's something about your narrative that really just kind of gets to me. Um, because I have very similar kind of not not similar, but kind of similar. And I my question has always been, especially for those of those individuals who decide to reject their child on the basis of um religious reasons or ideology. I just want to like look at them and be like, okay, but what if you're wrong? But just like just for a second. For like I know it's really hard for you to think outside of your regular box, but just give me one second and ask, what if you're wrong? What what did you lose because you weren't able to say, hey, like, you know, I you whatever, you lost an entire connection with a child of yours. And that to me, that's the most tragic thing that could have happened. I just it is, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's and part of me too is like you bring up a really good point. So when parents are like, I'm forcing it, and there's some religions where it's like you will not talk to your child if they're not in line or obedient, right? If they're not following the law, then we just we outcast them. There's others where it's like you get a choice, so it's this firm manipulation. This was my experience. It's this gaslighting and manipulation where it's like, no, you have a choice, Georgia. You can choose to love us and be in this home, but you choose not to with all your antics, right? Like with all this, yes. And so it's like, oh, um, and that's where that kind of power play comes in, and that's the trickery. That's what got me into trafficking, right? Like, that's what got my my butt being sold and doing stuff is because I would play that game.
SPEAKER_02It's a false dichotomy, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and so breaking that cycle of just like it is okay to say, Yeah, I'm not doing that. Okay, bye. Yeah, and that's the part that I was saying. Like, what would I want to tell Kid Georgia? Bye.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, see ya.
SPEAKER_01You can say bye. Yep, okay. If I'm not I'm not playing that game with you, like this is gonna hurt, this is gonna be difficult, this is gonna be hard, this is not fun, this is sad, but I am not gonna let you say that I have to do something in order for me to be loved. That is not okay, and that's what I tell the parents too. So on the other side, it's like telling the parents how come you can't look at it that your child is so powerful that you raise such a strong mind, they're willing to stand up and have this conversation with you. Why do you feel you created this power, but it's you created it, but it scares you so much that you're like, there's the door if you're gonna try and push against me? Because you know it's powerful. How come we can't honor that?
SPEAKER_02Because it threatens you.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. Like, and so it's like, let's sit down and have the conversation. How are we gonna get along? How is my ego gonna get along with your ego? How is my need gonna get along with your need if we're gonna do this, right? In a pro like in a nice, I almost said professional, but like in a nice, caring, like we can do this, right? Wait.
SPEAKER_04No curse words. I know.
SPEAKER_01So it's like, how are we gonna do this and make it work and study like and give people empowerment instead of disempowering them? You're too much for me, so I'm gonna disempower you and make you leave because you're making me uncomfortable because you're so powerful. So if you're feeling that right now, that there's this disempowerment, do this or leave, is because you're powerful. Love yourself for it. Be like, oh, I am something, I'm a threat, I'm an instigator. Yeah. Yep. Good for you. Good for you if you're listening and you hear that. Cool.
SPEAKER_02You mentioned, I know we're kind of like we've got to move move to the next slide. I mean, you you you kind of got it though. Um the a resource that you would love to share with our community.
SPEAKER_01Like a resource that I have? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I mean you can plug in what you're doing right now.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you like it's honestly like um stick with your kind, stick with your group. If you find something, try and make it work. Uh love the moments that you have. If you go and you do art with somebody, love it. Collect it, remember it. You know, you may not be able to drive yourself now and go back down to that art studio or or whatever, go on that little walk that you did with like um, you know, Capital Pride or something, but you'll get there, you'll be able to go and enjoy it again someday. You know, remember your little bits of freedom and your little bits of joy and all of the resources and the activities and stuff that people are providing for you. Um I think like if you have a GSA, they're annoying, but say hi. Like, I don't know what to say. You know what I mean? Like some kids are just like, oh my gosh. But it's like say hi, get to know them, stick together. Um, Rainbow Youth is really the only one that I know about. Um for me, it's like even just like being kind to the old people, like be nice to me. If we ever meet, if you get the chance, like high five me. You know what I mean? Like, um become my friend. Yeah. I would love to continue that conversation. And if there's something you're going through to talk about it, um, but know that like since I I've only been here for a couple months. Right. So since November, since I've been here, I have met some powerful, really cool, queer people that are working their butt off for everybody. And that's like with the LGBT center. I'm begging for it. I am begging for it. Um, P Flag. Like when I met with them, they had the right mind. They were like, um, people were like, you know, we love this for this family, but like we don't want to be queers. I have to go teach people what it's like to be queer. And it's like they caught on to that really quick and made safe spaces for people. So I appreciate them for that. Um, doing art with Emery, you know, stuff. So I think that there's this great community, and but I don't necessarily have like this one resource that I'm tapped into for Salem yet.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. I really like, I mean, even the idea of like yourself as a resource, but also this idea of like if you're a youth and you're listening to this, please understand that you the adults are trying to give you something that we didn't have. Yep. Because a lot of our trans individuals, our ancestors are no longer here with us for whatever reason, um, they're no longer here, and so a lot of us don't get a chance to be parents, not because we don't want to be, sometimes we don't want to be, but most of the time it's just because of the way that the cards fall, right? And so we we we still have that desire to nurture and to care for the younger ones. And so if you're a young one out there and you're listening to this podcast and you're just like, I don't have anybody to look up to, we're out here, please find us. We're looking for you.
SPEAKER_01Yes, 100%.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, um, so that's that's a great we'll just jump over to the next question. The last question usually is you said you've been here for three months, right? Yeah, so in your in your like small sample of Salem, what do you what do you think that Salem needs right now?
SPEAKER_01LGBT center. Ding ding ding, number one answer. Yes, it needs that. Um Salem needs to be more respectful and inclusive with resources because they're all in a church. Yeah, the other day I was like, I went to five meetings, they were all in a church, and I was like, why? You know what I mean? And I've healed a lot from that. Like, I don't want people out there to think that like I'm a Mormon hater or a you know, like anti-this, anti-that. Like, I'm not that at all, right? Like, I literally am just Georgia. So um, I'm on my own journey with spirituality, I understand things, I understand people, I dissect it all day, I give services, I get it. But there's a there's a line that's been crossed. Yeah, like everything is tied to a church, and that's almost every single homeless shelter, everything, yeah, and that's by design. Oh, yeah, not design. That's the part that breaks my heart. So that's what I mean by Salem needs to change it, is it's like you guys, this is ridiculous. Um, and being somebody that also like deals with the money, like I have a grant, I'm in charge of a grant, so I literally write checks for people with an expectation, and so I'm surprised at how much some of them ask for. Yeah, and I'm just like yeah. So that I I would love to um yeah. I was talking with another friend the other day, and it was like, How are you loving Sam? I said, I love it, I definitely see myself buying a home here, love the queer community so far, that stuff. I don't know if I'd want to write a book from here though, because I feel like there's this tone or like this, there's always the water is just a little bit murky all the time because you can't escape the white colonization Christianity, like it's heavy, this church stuff, and so that's the part where I'm just like, I oh, it hurts.
SPEAKER_04I'm an author, so I have to interrogate that that just a little bit. Like, yeah, I'll buy a home here, but I won't write a book here. Is that what you said?
SPEAKER_01An analogy kind of thing. Like, if you think of like I really love my organic brain, I love, like I said, I like to lift my feet up and float and let things fall where they need to fall. Part of that is influence. So when I can't control, I can't escape a controlled influence, meaning I'm constantly influenced in everything that I do, there's a little bit of church in there. Right. Um, I can't escape it. And so I haven't learned how to do that. I'm the instigator, right? Like I'm the one that got put in here for fighting a little bit. So it's like that's when I learn how to push back and create my own serenity with that. Um, I think I could. But in a way of explaining it to them, what I think about Salem, it's almost like saying, I love it, but there's a little bit of me that's still looking over my shoulder.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Oh, definitely.
SPEAKER_01And I did have like I work with another queer, a queer friend, right? Um, we share an office. They were like, I like after the interview, they signed up and were like, I want Georgia in my office because we all share like one big office space, at least two people per office. And I'm so glad, college student, um, lesbian, like star of the show, love her to death. Um, she called me out the other day because I was not standing up against like my with my values. Yeah, I was letting something slide. And later it's like we were just like in the office late at night, nobody else was around, and so we were just like hanging out. And she straight called me out. She was like, I was really surprised when and I'm like, I'm failing you. I was like, oh my gosh, no, I'm the worst queer mentor ever. Like, don't always, you know, and so that's kind of I think that fear is I'm like, oh, in my own fear, I got a little bit too comfortable with something being uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_04Right, right. Well, that's that that really goes to like the the system of the non-profits. I think kind of exactly that's it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like, um, I don't know how much we want to get into it on the podcast at the end of the day, churches are businesses, yeah. They are businesses, right?
SPEAKER_02And like you know, I was gonna add to that too, is it's like uh I there are churches and religious organizations here in Salem that I support. I love what they're doing. I love that they're inclusive and they they're actively they have banners and whatever it might be. But in the end, when it comes to like the LGBTQ center or the work that we're doing, the best thing you can do is support, but not like swallow it. Because that's third spaces are becoming even more rare, and the last thing we want to do is tie something to a religious organization. Mult multiple reasons, but one of them being a lot of our youth don't respond to that.
SPEAKER_01Good. You know, it's like but it's hard at the same time.
SPEAKER_04They respond to it, they just go the other way. I know it's not the response that you want. Unfortunately.
SPEAKER_01No, and I would love so here's an answer too of like what I think we need in Salem right now. I need your voices, I need you to say why you're not responding, why you're going the other way. Um, even if you're just telling, you know, us the workers, they could then put that into something and use it as an example. That's amazing. There's also one of the best resources going back because I just I'm getting used to like who they are, but child abuse and sexual abuse prevention. Yeah. And so there's one, um, there's a group of people with child abuse prevention, but they're in what's that place that's across from the Salem Center, and it's like something with hope. It's like a little tan building and it has like bricks on the other side and Salem Center.
SPEAKER_02Which one? Like which Salem Center?
SPEAKER_01The the mall downtown.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Um like literally across the street from it. Like you're going down Center for Hope and Safety. Center for Hope and Safety. Like people are yelling at me right now. Exactly. Like around the back, there is something about sexual violence. Right. There's like an office that works in there. They are the coolest people ever. Yeah. Coolest people ever. Working with them, trying to get some stuff going for April, like some pop-ups. I want to do some like dancing in the park, like some just random fun party days. Yeah. Um, and not make it so educational, but more of just like community gathering and stuff. Um, working with them on some stuff, but they are really cool. So yeah. I think that whole center, but if you can ask for just be like, where does Eli work? Um, Eli is phenomenal.
SPEAKER_04Amazing. Cool. I hadn't heard heard of this at all.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Oh, there Sabozan. Georgia, I think our time here is up.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_04Thank you so much, Georgia. Uh, it was so good to talk to you. Where in the sea can we find you?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you can find me at the Marion and Polk Early Learning Hub. But the easiest way to get a hold of me is by emailing me. I'm gonna give you my personal email. So it is the Georgia James at gmail.com.
SPEAKER_02Whoa. Give me that. Um okay, awesome. Uh great. Well, please subscribe and leave a review if you like our podcast, and you can support us on Patreon at crafty coyotes. No space in between words.
SPEAKER_04Alright, so on your way out, if you could put in a good word with the captain for us, we'd appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01I might, I might push him so he puts me back in here. This was fun. Well, awesome.
SPEAKER_02And remember, Salem, even when the seas are choppy, voice your colors.